


Untitled

by kinksock22



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, First Time, Frottage, Happy Ending, M/M, Multi, RPS - Freeform, nonAU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 18:31:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5938678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinksock22/pseuds/kinksock22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for this prompt at the kink meme: <i>Its ridiculous, stupid even to think that Jared looks back to the season 1, 2 and 3 pics, interviews, etc. and feels constant unending regret. Those pics with happy, campy, smiling Jensen and no Genevieve. No Danielle. Just Jared and Jensen. Those few months alone in a shared space. He loves his kids more than existence itself. So does Jensen. But the way he catches Jensen looking at him sometimes. Now and with prickles burning in his eyes, back then. Just...what if...<br/>Happy ending ever after for J2 please</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled

Most days Jared is happy with his life, with the way things turned out. He loves Gen and what they have, has the perfect family that he’d always wanted, that he’d always dreamed of. But then there are days that he can’t help but look back, all the way to the beginning, where it was just him and Jensen, working hard and playing harder, high on life and the thrill of having their own show, of being part of something that they both knew was going to be magic. Back when there were no wives or anything else, just them, living, working and playing together. And as much as Jared loves his life now, he can’t help but miss those times every once in a while.  
  
He knows that Jensen feels the same. He can see it in his best friend’s eyes at times, can see the way that Jensen looks at him, recognizing the longing in his gaze from seeing it on his own face in the mirror. And he knows that Jensen loves his life now, just as Jared loves his own. But there are times that he can’t help but wonder… what if.  
  
He honestly never thought anything would come of it. At least he never planned for it to happen. But on a rare weekend where they’re both in Vancouver instead of taking the chance to see their families, years of wondering and repression and denial finally comes to a head and Jared doesn’t see it coming, not until he’s in the middle of it and it’s too late to pull away or take any of it back.  
  
Not that he’d ever want a do-over when things finally fall into place.  
  
Honestly, he’s not even sure how they got there. One minute they’re laughing and reminiscing then the next they’re tangled up on the couch, kissing like the world is ending. It’s just a bit of heavy making out, kissing and groping, but something that they sure as shit shouldn’t be doing, not now, not after all this time. They are others involved now and Jared doesn’t know what any of it means, doesn’t know where they go from here, if anywhere.  
  
They definitely need to talk. That’s a given. But how does that conversation even _start_? He doesn’t even know what he wants, how can he expect them to work this out? If he wants to be honest with himself, he loves Jensen. It’s different from the way he loves Gen but there all the same. Sometimes he thinks he loves Jensen more, better in a way, more true and honest.  
  
They fall asleep on the couch together, pressed close, limbs tangled. The look in Jensen’s eyes the next morning mirrors Jared’s feelings perfectly. It felt so damn _right_ even though he knows – they both do – that it isn’t. Jensen smiles sadly and presses a chaste kiss to his lips and heads out onto the patio, staring into the backyard. At least he didn’t leave.  
  
Jared takes the time to really think. Thinks about losing what he has right now. What scares him is the fact that losing Jensen actually freaks him out more than losing Gen. Is it wrong to stay with her because he feels like he should? Because he’s afraid of losing what he has. Is that fair to either of them?  
  
Jensen doesn’t look up when Jared walks outside, just scoots over where he’s sitting on the top step, making room for Jared like he’s done for the last ten years. Jared’s throat is tight and his heart is pounding but he leans against Jensen’s broad shoulder, eyes slipping closed with a soft sigh when Jensen wraps his arm around his waist.  
  
They sit in silence for a long time. The thing with Jensen, the silences have never been uncomfortable. Surprisingly this one isn’t either.  
  
“I’m gonna talk to Gen,” Jared eventually hears himself say. “I’m not… I don’t assume anything and I’m not pressuring or even asking for the same in return…”  
  
Jensen’s fingers under his chin, tilting his head back to look up at Jensen cut him off. “Danni already knows,” Jensen offers softly. “She has for a while. We have an… agreement, I guess you can say. I promised I’d never sleep with someone else, with you, without talking to her first.”  
  
Jared blinks. How did he not know this?  
  
“She knows I love her,” Jensen continues softly. “Just. Not as much as…” he trails off, huffing a sigh but Jared doesn’t need him to finish. Not right now at least. He gets it.  
  
“Okay,” Jared breathes. “So we… We talk to them? Take it from there?”  
  
“Is that what you want?” Jensen asks.  
  
Jared swallows thickly and scoots closer to Jensen. “It’s… It’s always been there, Jen,” he replies quietly. “Just under the surface, I guess.”  
  
“Why now?”  
  
“I’m just tired of hiding,” Jared sighs. “Of fighting what I feel, what I’ve always felt.” He tips his head up just enough to brush a chaste kiss to Jensen’s lips. “It’s what I want,” he murmurs.  
  
“Okay then,” Jensen responds with a nod.  
  
***  
  
Telling Gen actually turns out to be easier than Jared thought it’d be.  
  
Turns out, she wasn’t as in the dark as Jared thought. And her and Danneel talk more than he realized.  
  
It is still a tough conversation to have and he feels like crap for putting her through this, for hurting her. After a long talk and some tears from both of them, to Jared’s surprise Gen agrees to not only keep his secret – and Jensen’s – but she also agrees to stay married, to keep things as they are publicly to give him and Jensen a chance to be together privately.  
  
It almost seems like it’s too good to be true. Instead of Gen being angry and dumping his ass for admitting to being in love with someone else – and taking everything with her – she’s willing to help him get the one thing he’s always really wanted but never thought he’d be able to have. He gets to keep his family and not have to worry about coming out any time soon and gets to have Jensen too.  
  
He spends the weekend with her in Texas then heads back to Vancouver. Jensen has been texting him, even called a few times, and while Jared hasn’t ignored him – he’s never been able to ignore Jensen – he hasn’t told him anything that went on. It’s really a conversation that needs to be had in person.  
  
Jensen offers to pick him up at the airport. Jared doesn’t think he can realistically keep himself from tackling Jensen and kissing him breathless – crowded public place or not – so he asks Jensen to meet him at the house instead. When he gets off the plane and turns his phone on, he’s not surprised to see a text from Jensen and it makes his heart melt.  
  
 _Just tell me that ur ok_  
  
He quickly texts back and tells Jensen that’s he’s fine, that he’s already landed and getting a cab home. His nerves are raw by the time he gets to his house, sees Jensen’s car in the driveway. His hands are shaking when he grabs his bag and before he can get his keys out of his pocket the front door swings open and he’s suddenly face-to-face with Jensen, beautiful green eyes dark with worry.  
  
As stupid as it is, _now_ is when Jared really starts to worry. He’d thought that the first talk with Jensen about their feelings had been hard, the talk with Gen even harder, but suddenly crossing the threshold into his own home seems nearly impossible. What if Jensen has changed his mind? What if he really thought about it while they were apart and what happened, what they admitted to each other, was wrong, a fluke? Even if Jensen hasn’t changed his mind, are they really ready to change ten years of friendship? What if they try and it doesn’t work? The thought of losing what he already has with Jensen scares the crap out of him. Is he really ready to take that chance?  
  
Jared knows he has an expressive face – not as much as Jensen’s but still – and Jensen can read him better than anyone else ever has, even his family.  
  
“At least come inside and freak out, idiot,” Jensen huffs, tone mostly fond, and grabs Jared’s wrist, tugging him into the house.  
  
“I’m not freakin’ out,” Jared automatically argues. Jensen just raises an eyebrow. “Fine,” Jared huffs and throws his hands up, “maybe I am, a little. But I mean, c’mon! This is huge and I don’t even know…”  
  
Jensen shuts him up with a hug that Jared honestly wasn’t expecting and really didn’t even realize that he needed. Familiar, strong hands slide up and down his back and he feels himself melt into Jensen’s embrace, just like always. Once he’s calmed down, Jensen pulls back just enough to look up at him, arms still around his waist.  
  
“Okay, now. You wanna slow down, maybe come inside and start from the beginning?”  
  
Jared nods and lets Jensen pull him into the living room. Jensen gently pushes him down on the couch and sits down on the table right in front of him, hands on Jared’s knees, smile soft and fond, open and encouraging. Jared doesn’t need further prompting to talk. He never really needs prompting or encouragement to talk to Jensen. He’s the easiest person in Jared’s life to talk to, has been since day one. He tells him about how things went with Gen, how awesome she was even though the situation is kinda shitty. He explains his reason for not trusting himself to talk to Jensen over the phone or have him pick him up at the airport. He even spills the fears that suddenly hit him when he saw Jensen standing there when he opened the door, all the sudden doubts and insecurities.  
  
Jensen’s hands slowly move up his thighs to his hips, leaning closer, fingers gently tugging. Taking the not so subtle hint, Jared leans forward as well, closing his eyes with a soft sigh as Jensen rests his forehead against Jared’s. They sit quietly for a moment, just enjoying being together and the silence. Jensen tilts his head just enough to nuzzle their noses together and Jared can’t help but chuckle softly.  
  
“I’m glad things went well with Gen,” Jensen eventually murmurs, foreheads still pressed together, his hands on Jared’s hips, Jared’s hands on his shoulders. “And I get why you wanted to wait to talk in person. I just… I was worried.” Jensen tilts his head again and Jared feels a feather-light brush of lips against his. “I haven’t changed my mind,” Jensen continues, voice low and soothing. “I haven’t in all these years, even with everything, and I’m not gonna now. And as for things changing? I don’t really look at it that way. You’re still my best friend, always will be.”  
  
“What if things don’t work out?” Jared asks softly, putting voice to his biggest fear. “I can’t… The thought of losin’ you…”  
  
“Shh, easy,” Jensen breathes. “Personally, I’m not worried ‘cause I know things’re gonna work out just fine.”  
  
“But…”  
  
“No, no buts,” Jensen gently interrupts, finally pulling back to look into Jared’s eyes. “I love you, Jared,” he damn-near whispers. “I’ve loved you for ten years, even when I didn’t think we’d ever have a chance. So in my mind, there’s no way things _won’t_ work out. But on the really slim, off-chance, then I’ll still love you and we’ll still be friends. You’re stuck with me for life, buddy.”  
  
Jared smiles, his hands sliding up to cradle Jensen’s neck. “Not gonna hear me complain ‘bout that.” He takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly. “And I love you, too,” he adds, throat tight, voice cracking and shaking slightly.  
  
Jensen leans forward and slowly, gently slides their lips together.  
  
The one and only other time they did this – the night before they finally talked about things – the kisses were frantic and desperate and rough. This time is completely different. It’s still hot and passionate – need and arousal kicking him in the stomach within seconds – but it feels more real. The first time, they both knew that what they were doing wasn’t right, no matter what they felt for each other. And they both were afraid that it would be the only chance they’d ever have to feel each other that way. This time they _know_ there will be a next time – the rest of forever if Jared has any say in the matter – and they’re free to actually be together, to give into the feelings that have been there but denied and unfulfilled for so long.  
  
Jared blinks his eyes open when Jensen pulls back, heated blood boiling through his veins as he takes in the lust-dark eyes and kiss-swollen lips. Jensen smirks at him like he can read Jared’s every filthy thought – knowing Jensen he probably can – and stands up, holding out one hand to Jared.  
  
Jared slides his hand into Jensen’s, letting Jensen pull him up off the couch. Jensen doesn’t say anything, just leads them towards the stairs. Jared trails behind, not sure what happens next but anxious to find out. They of course end up in Jared’s bedroom, Jensen stopping him with one hand on his hip at the foot of the bed, intense emerald gaze still heated but serious.  
  
“I know you answered it before,” Jensen murmurs, voice low and rough. “But I’mma ask again. Is this what you want?”  
  
“Yes,” Jared answers without hesitation. He’s still a little nervous about taking this step, about all he stands to lose if something goes wrong, but there’s no way he’s going to miss his chance.  
  
Jensen nods, flashing him a smile, then pulls him into his arms, hands fisting gently in his hair. “What’d’ya want, Jay?”  
  
“You,” Jared answers simply.  
  
Jensen snorts and rolls his eyes. “You already got that,” he mutters. “But seriously… Right now, tonight, what’d’ya want?”  
  
“Anything,” Jared breathes. “Everything.”  
  
“Ambitious,” Jensen chuckles softly.  
  
Jared grins, leans more into Jensen’s embrace. “Maybe not everything tonight,” he amends. “But I do want everything with you.”  
  
“We got time, Jared,” Jensen replies softly. It sort of hits Jared for the first time that they really do. They have time. They have forever if they want it.  
  
Instead of replying, Jared dips down and kisses Jensen, nipping playfully at his bottom lip before pulling away completely. Jensen stands still, head tilting slightly to the side, watching silently for a moment. Despite the nerves burning in his stomach, Jared maintains eye contact and starts to pull off his clothes. He’s not doing anything sexy or trying to give Jensen a show but Jensen’s eyes darken noticeably and he bites down on his bottom lip, hands curling into loose fists at his side.  
  
Once he’s naked, Jared smiles faintly at Jensen then turns and crawls onto the bed, stretching out in the middle, head propped up on a few pillows. He’s hard, cock thick and leaking already, curving up towards his abs and he can feel the heat of embarrassment burning his cheeks. Jared may have been in love with Jensen the last ten years and he may have been curious about guys – a little unsure in his own sexuality – since he was a teenager, but he’s never done this before with another man.  
  
Jensen licks his lips and blinks once, twice, before he seems to shake himself out of his stupor and follows Jared’s lead, stripping down then crawling onto the mattress. Jared’s mouth is dry and his throat is thick with emotion and arousal as he watches, catching his first real glimpse of Jensen naked and hard, all for him. Granted over the years of living and working and spending so much time together, they’ve seen each other in various stages of undress but never like this, never all at once and with the promise of _more_.  
  
Jared opens his legs almost without thought, letting Jensen settle between them, his thighs clenching down around lean hips. He’s not used to giving up control – he’s used to women and being the one to take care of things, of them – but he likes the idea of Jensen in that roll, at least for the moment. He’s lost, unsure, and he at least knows Jensen has some experience with guys and knows what the hell he’s doing.  
  
Jensen rolls his hips just slightly, their cocks pressing together between their abs and Jared gasps, grabbing Jensen’s broad shoulders. His whole body is trembling, stomach and groin tightening, and all thought leaves his head aside from _hard_ and _Jensen_ and _so right_.  
  
Jensen rolls his hips again, dragging their erections together, the slight drag of friction enough to have Jared panting already. He wants to warn Jensen, to beg him to stop, to tell him that if he keeps it up this is going to be over embarrassingly fast. But he doesn’t need to. Jensen knows him so well – _too well_ sometimes – and dips down, mouthing wetly at his jaw, down his neck to the crook of his shoulder.  
  
“’s okay,” he rasps. “Me too. So fuckin’ close already, Jay. Not gonna last.” He swivels his hips, head of his cock rubbing perfectly beneath the ridge of Jared’s and Jared digs his fingers into Jensen’s shoulderblades. “Just gonna take the edge off,” he explains, slightly breathless. “Got all night for more. Got forever,” he adds quietly.  
  
Jared moans and arches beneath Jensen, his own hips twisting and jerking. They fall into an erratic, sloppy rhythm, rutting against each other, arms and legs tangled. Jared clings to Jensen, needing his solid, grounding strength to keep him from flying apart, his heart pounding in his chest, his blood on fire with need and want. Jensen can’t seem to stop kissing him – which Jared is so not complaining about; Jensen’s lips are made for kissing – murmuring softly against his lips, words that Jared doesn’t really catch but still understands nonetheless.  
  
Jared can feel himself getting closer and closer – honestly he’s kind of amazed he’s lasted this long – as the slide gets easier and slicker, sweat and pre-come easing the friction. Jensen is huge and hot against him and he never thought just some dry-humping would feel so damn good.  
  
“Jensen,” he breathes, short, blunt fingernails raking down Jensen’s back, trying desperately to pull him closer, to get more, just that slightest bit that’ll push him over the edge.  
  
“’s okay,” Jensen pants, always quick to reassure. “I got’cha, Jay. It’s okay. C’mon, baby.”  
  
For some reason, that does it.  
  
Jared cries out, eyes slamming closed as his muscles lock up tight, hips straining as he trembles, cock jerking and pulsing hard enough to almost hurt. Jensen grunts but keeps moving, the slide so much wetter and smoother as Jared’s release erupts between them.  
  
Jared’s vaguely aware of Jensen pushing down a bit harder, teeth digging into his shoulder, the warm splash of Jensen’s release a few seconds after he’s stopped trembling. His arms feel like overcooked noodles but he holds Jensen close, clumsily trying to thrust up against him to help work him through it as best he can.  
  
They collapse against the mattress in a sweaty, tangled, sticky heap. Jared groans and wiggles a bit, smiling when he hears a soft, tired chuckle. Jensen pulls back to look at him, eyes glittering. Jared leans up as Jensen leans down, meeting in the middle for a soft, loving kiss. They settle back down, fingers idly moving over warm, sweat-slick skin as they try to catch their breath. Neither of them say anything, there’s nothing that needs to be said. All this has been between them since the beginning, everything has been leading to this. They love each other, what else needs to be said that they haven’t already?


End file.
